I'm So Lost
by xlovexmex
Summary: This is my version of the season two opener. This story takes place as possible other survivors find Sawyer. Will he survive? Will they trust each other? Sawyer deals with the man he's become. May contain spoilers from season one.
1. In The End There Is A Beginning

I'm So Lost

Chapter One:

In The End There Is A Beginning

.:.:.:.:.:.May Contain Spoilers.:.:.:.:.:.

.:.This is my version of the season two opener. I have no knowledge of the series other than what I've seen on tv. I do not own any of these characters, nor do I pretend to. There is one made up character, Abigail Winters. The ideas of this fan fiction, are for entertainment purposes. Once again, I do not own any of the characters. So please do not sue me! Happy reading! Leave a review!.:.

The shore swept the man onto the shores. He was covered in a mixture of sand and blood. The man is Sawyer. Sawyer, a conman, was shot during the raft incident. While trying to save Michael's son Walt from being taken away by the so called 'others' he fell overboard.

Now he laid unconscious against the rocks of the island. _Maybe I'm not meant to get off this island? If it wasn't for those people in the boat taking Walt, we'd be half way home right now. Hell, I'd even be conscious. I could be lounging back in my recliner watching the plasma screen I got while doing the last job. Or better yet, getting back to Los Angeles. I need to find that man, Hibbs, the man who claimed he knew the person, Sawyer, the man who destroyed my life. He lied to me, and I ended up killing the wrong person. _

Sawyer stirred in his unconscious state. Slowly coming to. He parted his eyes open to see a darkened figure. _Am I alive?_ He thought he only said in his head, but in reality, he did both.

"Yes. Come on we gotta get you some medical help."

_I made it home? No, surely not. Where's Michael and Jin? Maybe I floated ashore and made it. I don't recognize this woman. Yet, then again I can hardly see five feet in front of me. I knew my fears had come true, I was still on the island._

He muttered, "Is Walt okay?"

She lifted him up with the aid of another man. They both put his arms around their shoulders. "Walt?"The man motioned for her to speak. "Yeah. He's fine."

"We didn't make it? But we got those guys before they took off with Walt." His eyes drew heavy, he was drifting back to sleep. His mind couldn't take in anymore for a few hours. He was restless.

The two reached camp and laid him down. The last thing he remembered were voices of the unknown strangers who'd rescued his life. He could faintly remember the smell of the tree he laid beneath of.

"I hate this island." He murmured.


	2. Angst

Chapter Two:

Angst

Sawyer woke several hours later to people screaming. _This island is hell. _He sat up looking around wiping the crud out of his eyes. He saw five people arguing with each other while the sixth person sat alone under a tree, much like Sawyer.

"You can't let someone just barge in here and take charge, Ana!" Screamed one of the girls. He recognized the one she called, Ana. _She was the one that brought me here. Great. _He thought sarcastically. _If I'm on the island, and this sure looks like the place I've spent most of my five months on, where'd these people come from? Wonder if I can stand? _He managed to get to his knees before the attention turned on him. Ana, ran to his aid.

"You should rest."

"No I'll be alright."

"What are you folks arguing about? It's not like I can get any rest with you people bickering."

"Could he be anymore grateful, Ana? I mean you saved his ass and all he can say is.." She sighed loudly. "Whatever." _It's not worth the trouble._ This girl was about 5'3" with blonde hair and blue eyes. Much like freckles he left back at his other camp. _Wonder if she's missing me. Probably. I don't know her and Doc are probably getting closer to each other. Doc's gonna have his hands full with that one. _The girl rolled her eyes.

"Listen, firecracker. I might not be that expressive when it comes to you saving me an all but I don't remember you saving me from the beach." _Firecracker, I like it. She reminds me of one of those girls I'd con into giving me their money after a night with me._

"That's because I wanted you to stay on the beach."

"Abigail." Said one of the others.

"No just because you think everything on this island isn't evil doesn't mean I'm going to believe it."

_Not as dumb as she looks._ Sawyer thought to himself.

"So who are you people anyway?"

The man beneath the tree spoke up, "Survivors of the plane 815 crash."

"Then I must not be far from the cave. Where's the doc?"

"Doc?" asked Ana-Lucia. "I don't know what you're talking about. Other than you, we've not seen any other people on this island."

"Except for those creepy people." Abigail spoke up.

"Creepy people?" Sawyer said.

"Yeah, these people came looking for some boy. But then again, how'd you not know that? I consider you to be one of those people. How do we know you're not lying?"

"And how do I know you're not?" He thought for a moment. "I'm from the same flight as you. We crashed here a few months back. I figured all the survivors of the plane migrated to the caves."

"You said there's a doctor?" Ana-Lucia jumped in.

"Yeah, Jack.." he thought for a moment, _what is Doc's last name? _"Sheppard."

Ana looked at Abigail, "He's telling the truth Abigail. I met Jack Sheppard before we departed. He is who he says he is."

"Just like that you're going to believe him?"

"If he wanted to kill us, he would have already, don't you think?"

"Unless he's waiting on something. I don't want to chance it. I say we tie him up."

Sawyer stepped forward. "Listen here, I'm not willing to stay. So don't bother with the string you may conjure up. I ain't staying. And this island can't be that big, I'm sure I can find the Doc by myself. I'm a big boy."

Ana-Lucia grabbed Sawyers arm, "You're in no condition for that. You have a gun-shot wound."

"Yeah, he does. I wonder how he got that." She stormed off into the woods alone. Leaving everyone in the camp to fend for themselves. She called out, "I'm not gonna sit here like a duck waiting to get picked off."


	3. Returning

Chapter Three:

Returning

Abigail returned to camp to find it empty, except for Sawyer who laid against the tree watching the sunset. _I knew it. I knew he couldn't be trusted. But no, just because he's got the southern accent people automatically swoon over this guy. How pathetic. Maybe I'm giving him to much credit? After all he does look like he couldn't punch better than a kindergartner. But then again, that was putting down the kindergartner._

"What'd you do to them?"

Sawyer smirked widely, "What was that firecracker?"

She stood in front of him. Feet firmly placed in the sand. "Where are they?"

"I'm not sure who you're talking about? Might wanna refresh my memory." He smiled evilly, "After getting shot an all, my mind's not like what it was."

"You know exactly who I'm talking about." She demanded, "Where are they?"

He sat there for a moment wondering if he should tell her that Ana-Lucia went off to find Jack and the rest of them went to look for firewood. _I like to see this girl squirm. I'll make her drag it out of me._

She punched him in the face. His hair tousled with the blow. He winced a bit. She made him bleed, but barely. He got to his feet touching the corner of his lip with his index finger. _That's all she's got?_

"Listen, firecracker, I'm just wondering, what's with all the punching? Your parent's not love you enough? So you gotta go around beatin' every Tom, Dick, and Harry?"

"You call me that one more time an I'll--"

"What beat me again?" He smirked, "Don't believe I'm scarred of a little girl like you." _Meow._ "Now maybe. If you'd been a little nicer about it, and not have accused me of killing your friends. I might have been more lenient towards you with the answers."

She scoffed, "What do you want from me?"  
He smirked.

She rolled her eyes and placed her hands firmly on her hips. "No."

"No, what I haven't even told you."

"I know how men like you work, Sawyer, was it? They work their crappy assed charming scheme to get into your pants and they leave you out to dry. That's not going to happen to me. So cut it out and just tell me."

"Who said anything about getting in your pants, darlin'?" _I love this._

"Then what is it?"

"All I want is for you to help me back to the cave. That's it."

"Will you tell me where my friends are, after or before?"

"After. I don't want you beatin' me."

She sighed. "Fine."

"Let me get my things." He looked down. "Alright. Well I'm guess I'm ready to go then."

She ran her fingers through her hair pushing it back but failing in the main goal, keeping it out of her eyes.

"Should we leave a note?" he smirked.

"Don't push it."

"Alright firecracker."

She gave him an evil glare. He chuckled a bit.

"I just don't see why you don't like it."

She grabbed her backpack and threw it over her shoulders. She was still amazed every time she saw it how lucky she was to have found it in the wreckage.

They entered the jungle. Small leaves of a bush covering them up as they walked from the campsite.


	4. Expedition

Chapter Four:

Expedition

It was about twenty minutes into the search for the cave until someone broke the awkward silence that was between them.

"So. What is it you do, Mr. Sawyer?" She said keeping her eye on him from behind.

"What do you think I do?"

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking." She scoffed. _We're not going to get along at all._

"Guess."

"Okay." She sighed. "How about… an accountant?"

"An accountant?" He turned around and a smirk came across his face.

She shook her head. "No, to boring. Though it could explain your attitude."

"My attitude?" He lost his smile and returned his attention on the path in front of them.

She avoided the topic. "How about.." she thought for a moment. "A murderer?"

This made him stop and turn around. She hit a nerve. "Not funny."

She backed up a bit while he took a few steps towards her.

"Listen, girly, just get me to the cave and you can be on your marry little way."

"You were the one that wanted to play."

"Yeah, but I'm not accusing you of being a murderer, now am I?"

"Well I can't help it if you give off that killer vibe."

He took another step towards her, she backed up into a nearby tree. Her back hitting the trunk. She looked up into his eyes. They were cold. _He is a murderer._

"I don't know what it is with you."

She stood there waiting for him to back away. _He's capable of ripping me in two. I don't want to push it. _"Oh?" She showed her true colors. She was scared and for good reason. She was all talk. Her hair fell into her face covering up her left eye. She could still see him moving in, closer.

"I don't gotta prove anything to you, and I'm not going to." He moved another step this time their bodies were touching. "Just to let you know, this island is far dangerous than any one of us."

_Defiantly hit a nerve._

He tucked the piece of hair that was covering her eye behind her ear. "If I didn't think I'd pass out, I defiantly wouldn't be here with you."

_Ouch._

"So why didn't you wait?"

"Wait for what?"

"Any one of us could have gotten the doctor for you, you could've waited."

He nodded. "Yeah, firecracker, I guess that's true." He smirked and started walking. "Yeah, but we'd not have this lovely time to ourselves."

"Lovely?"

She followed behind him. _Why am I helping this guy? I guess I'm scared of the island more than him. He's seen things, that I haven't even dreamed of. _She knew the rest of the way would probably be completely silent. She liked it that way. It was awkward but she'd rather be safe than dead at the hands of this guy.


	5. Camping

Chapter Five:

Camping

It was about nightfall when Abigail and Sawyer decided it was time to camp, it was getting to dark to see in front of them. It would be pointless to continue in the dark without flashlights or any kind of gear to help them see. They had about half way of a journey to go. They'd reach the caves, hopefully, in the afternoon. That is, if they were going the right way.

_Based on his directions, we could be going around in circles._ _Maybe he's stalling? Why am I on this trip again? Why do I suddenly trust him?_ _I don't trust him. What'd he do with the people back in camp? This island is full of creepy things, Mr. Sawyer is one of them. _

He laid back against a moss covered rock looking up at the stars. He winced in pain his wound still hurting him. She noticed his pain.

"You want me to fix it?"

He looked over to her. _She's a doctor and she could've done this a long time ago. But instead we're heading towards the cave? Gah. Why do I have to be surrounded by a bunch of doctors that I don't get along with? _"You're a doctor?"

"No. But I've got surgical band aids." She said opening her book bag.

"Oh." He looked down at his shirt which was starting to show some of the blood bleeding through. "Alright." He sat up taking off his shirt.

"Wo--" She looked a little fluttered for a moment before regaining her thoughts.

He smirked at her comment. "Catching yourself, little lady?" He tossed his shirt to the side.

She sat beside him. "No need for that."

"Do I need to lay back? So you can 'operate'" He emphasized operate with his eyes.

She nodded waiting for him to do so. She unwrapped the band aid and stuffed the papers back into her back pack. She stared at her chest for a minute before continuing on.

"Taking one of those mental pictures?"

She shook her head. "NO! I'm um.. Looking at the wound." _Liar._

"Alright." He chuckled. He'd been around several woman. He could always tell when someone was staring at him. He made it his job to be able to tell the difference between staring with interest and staring with envy.

She wiped the blood up around the wound. Hopeless. She covered the wound up with the band aid and motioned for him to put back his shirt.

"You sure you don't want me to keep it off?"

"Don't flatter yourself."

"I'm not. I don't have to."

She went to stand before he grabbed her arm. "Don't be to rough with me." He said before moving his mouth to hers. Hers in return, moving closer to his. He brushed his lips against hers.

_Hmm. _Several thoughts going through her mind at the moment. _What are we doing?_

Sawyer pushed her away. She landed on her back. She grunted, "What was that about?"

"I'm not in the mood." He said as he put his shirt back on and turned himself away form her. She sat there for a moment in shock.

She rolled her eyes. She put her back pack on the ground before going back into the jungle for wood. She talked to herself while looking, "What an ass hole!" She yelled back at him.

Sawyer could hear her from the distance. He didn't care. Freckles was waiting back at the cave. _Bet she misses me. Her and doc doesn't know what to do with each other._

She bent down grabbing a piece of wood from the ground, perfect for firewood. She remembered when her camp discovered how to create fire. It was quite a moment. Everyone was thrilled and happy that they had some sort of heat so they could fry their fish that they speared in the ocean. Ana-Lucia, there sort of leader, knew a lot about survival, but never explained how or why she did.

She quickly stood up when she heard something in the jungle, with her. She heard the snapping of branches as if someone was walking towards her, "Sawyer." She kept hearing the noises getting closer and closer, only it wasn't coming from where she was. "Not funny Sawyer." The noises stopped and she turned around slowly. Her eyes slowly starting to widen.


	6. Where Are You?

Chapter Six:

Where are you?

Sawyer awoke in the morning his body in pain from both the sleeping position he was in and the wound. He sat up and rubbed his head.

"Morn--." He looked around. "Abigail?"

She wasn't there. He couldn't really remember her coming back last night. He got to his feet and saw that she had left her back pack. _She would never leave her back pack. _"Abigail?" He grabbed the pack and wandered the way he remembered she left. "Abigail?" He kept calling hoping for a response. He was hoping, for her sake that she was only out getting water. No answer. "Where the hell is she?" He stroked his hair back as something caught his eye. He looked down to find a pile of firewood. Something got her for sure last night. He shook his head. "I hate this island."

Within moments he arrived back at their campsite. He fell to his knees. "Ugh." Pain shot up through his stomach. His wound was getting worse. He could feel it. He fell face down in the dirt. He laid there in pain. His legs sprawled out and his head tilted to the side.

He rolled over on his back wincing in pain he'd call out for help.

The last thing he remembered seeing was a shady figure standing over him. "Abigail.." Another figure joined the first. "Help.. Me."

When Sawyer woke up he saw a few familiar faces. Jack and Kate hovering over him. _Maybe it was them that found me? _He winced a bit opening his eyes wider.

"How does it look Doc?" He smirked.

Jack looked at Kate then returned his face back towards Sawyer, "You'll be fine Sawyer."

"What happened? What happened to the raft? Michael, Walt, Jin?"

Sawyer shook his head. "I don't know."

Kate looked down then across the room to Sun who was waiting for any news on her beloved husband. Sun nodded and smiled uneasy. She turned around and left the cave to tell the others.

"I never thought I'd be happy to see you, Doc."

"It's a good thing we found you when we did. Otherwise you'd be.."

"Dead?" Sawyer spoke up for him. He smiled and looked up at Kate lightly touching her face, "Freckles."

Kate forced a smile and took his hand away from her. "I'm going to see if Sun's okay and tell the others."

Jack, "It's quite amazing how you survived. Being alone. But I have to wonder, how'd you get these surgical band aids?"

Sawyer watched her go. He ignored Jack's question he realized, "Someone's missing."

Jack looked up at him, "Missing?"

Sawyer shook his head, "Abigail."

"Abigail?"

"Yeah I met her on the other side of the island."

He shook his head. "Sawyer, we're the only survivors on this island. It'd be highly unlikely someone survive alone."

Sawyer sat up, "She wasn't alone. There was about, five others with her. Someone named, Ana-Lucia?"

Jack's eyes widened. "Ana-Lucia?"

"She said that she knew you."

"Yeah, we met before the plane." He shook his head. "She was on the back of the plane."

Sawyer sighed, "That's nice."

"I see your attitude hasn't changed much since getting shot."


	7. When You're Not Here

Chapter Seven:

When You're Not Here

The cave was full of people that Sawyer remembered before he set sail on their raft. _Jack and Kate apparently have something going on. I'm not worried about it anymore. Kate's just great for playing games with. Jack, he's just a fool. I wonder if I'll ever see those people again? Ana-Lucia was supposed to be on her way here. I never told Abigail that. Maybe she gave up hope and decided to abandon me, for being such a jerk. Hell, I am a jerk. I play people to get what I want. Usually ends up in people getting hurt, but I've got a bunch of pain under my own belt to deal with. I could careless about anyone else's. _He sighed. _What a lousy way of thinking' . I wonder why Ana-Lucia hasn't made it._

Sayid interrupted his thinking. "How are you Sawyer?"

"Why are you askin'?"

Sayidd nodded, "I see you've not changed."

"Why, do you expect me to act all different cause I got a bullet in the stomach?" He stood up. "Sorry, but not gonna happen. It's gonna have to take a much bigger thing to happen."

Sayid, "Jack mentioned you meeting a girl?"

"Doc's crazy. So was I, there was no girl just me."

"Well, I think you may have been right."

"Listen, Chico, I ain't your friend, and I ain't gonna be." He heads off towards the caves entrance.

"Sawyer." He watched him leave the caves.

Sawyer gets stopped by Kate.

"Where are you going?"

"Why is it that everybody's interested in little old me? I ain't got nothing you want girl. So leave me alone."

Kate tags along beside him. "You were shot Sawyer. And you claimed some girl was helping you?"

Sawyer stops. "I'm delusional okay? Get over it."

"I just think that maybe something happened to you while you were out at sea."

"Is that what this is? You want me to tell you every little detail about the sea voyage?"

"Yeah. It could help us find out more about what happened to the rest of the people on the raft, Michael, Jin, Walt?"

"You don't have to remind me, peaches, I know exactly who was there. Remember you fought me for a seat on that very raft."

"You have to know something Sawyer. Seen something."

He brushed his hair back away from his face. "They came for the boy."

"They? The others?"

"That'd be the ones." He paused for a moment. "It was about four men on the boat and a woman."

"A boat?"

"Do I have to repeat myself every time so you can get it?" He sighed, "Yes, a boat. We were off the island for about three hours. Something popped up on the screen. So we used the flair gun. They came up to us, demanded the boy be given to them. I got shot, and apparently something happened to the rest of 'em."

"That's it? That's all you remember?"

"Well, I do remember having water between my ears." He walked off leaving her there. He knew that she'd run off and report to Jack. _Much good it would do to tell the doctor, what'd he do, scalpel them to death? _A few moments later he was back at the beach. All his stuff was torn down , because he took it with him on the raft. His book, Watership Down was gone. Nothing to do on this forsaken island. He knew that within days he'd seclude himself from the rest of the survivors, like always. He dug out the letter he always kept stuffed in his pocket. He carefully opened it up and read it.

_Dear Mr. Sawyer, you don't know who I am but I know who you are and I know what you done. You had sex with my mother and then you stole my dad's money all away. So he got angry and he killed my mother and then he killed himself, too. All I know is your name. But one of these days I'm going to find you and I'm going to give you this letter so you'll remember what you done to me. You killed my parents, Mr. Sawyer._

He carefully folded it back together and stuffed it into his pocket. He sat on the sand taking in the rays of sunshine.


	8. Cold Hearted Soul

Chapter Eight:

Cold Hearted Soul

That night while sitting on the beach watching the waves crash against one another. He can't reliving that moment on the raft over an over. Trying to remember anything. Sawyer had given up any hope of going home. They were there for the long run. _There's no use in sugar coatin' it. We're gonna live here until we die. Great._ The more and more that he stayed on the island, the more he longed to get off of it. He felt as though he was a helpless being who kept getting tortured. _Who'd wanna live a life like this? I can't sit here anymore._ He stood up and wiped off his jeans. His buttoned up t-shirt was blowing against the breeze as he planted his feet in the sand. He looked up at the sky. _I miss her. I do. She's the only one that understands me. But I won't let her know. I'm not weak. Kate can't get the best of me. _He stood there for awhile before laying down under a tree. He was tired and needed some sleep.

The next morning, he woke from the commotion that was going on near him. People running into the jungle. _Great, guess the polar bears want to make an appearance. _He got to his knees before realizing Kate was standing in front of him. Her brown curly hair blew against her face. He couldn't remember any other time that she was so beautiful.

"What can I do for you freckles? Here to ask me some more questions?" He got to his feet, "Or how about what I ate on the raft. Now that I really can't remember." He paused for a moment. "I'm guessing sushi."

"Ana-Lucia is here."

His eyes widened, "Who?"

"Ana-Lucia. Turns out she survived. She's in the caves. If you want to see her."

"Now why would I want to do that?"

"I don't know Sawyer. I figured you'd want to ask her about Abigail."

"She's not real remember. You and Doc called me crazy, remember? Now why would I want to give into that?"

"I didn't call you crazy, Sawyer."

"Yeah, but you implied it."

"Fine. Stay here." She walked off leaving him by himself on the beach.

A few minutes later Sawyer decided he should go check it out. See if he is crazy. Not for Jack or Kate, but for himself. Did he really hallucinate Abigail? Surely not, why would he? Everyone in the cave was huddled around Ana-Lucia. Their eyes fixated on her. Hurley, Charlie, Kate, and Sun, most everyone was there that needed to be. Except Locke. Sawyer and Locke never really formally met. They didn't think much of one another. Sawyer thought Locke saw him as a punk and a con. Half of that was true. Sawyer didn't find much need in Locke and hated that everyone depended on this man to get them their food. Locke was a holy man and you could see it in his eyes. But when he entered the room Ana-Lucia's eyes shifted to him. Many turned to see what she was looking at, but didn't seem to care.

Sawyer leaned against the wall of the cave listening to was Ana-Lucia had to say. Most of it wasn't new. Same story as the rest of the survivors. Shot out of the plane, landed on the island, and blah blah blah. He'd wait until everyone left to ask her questions. Most of which, he knew she didn't have the answers to. He shrugged to himself and walked out of the cave. Taking a deep breath of fresh air. Closing his eyes for a moment before getting slugged in the back of the head by a pipe. He fell on his stomach and cried out in a bit of pain.

He was out cold.

When he woke up he was tied to a tree. "Great. Alright, Chico, I don't know where anything is." He looked around. No one was around. He was in a deeper part of the jungle. "Hello?"

He struggled against the ropes that bounded his hands. He grunted loudly as if it'd help him break free. No use. Wouldn't budge.

He shook his head in frustration, "Every, damn time." Just then something caught his eye, "Abigail?"

She smiled at him and moved towards him. Locke was behind her.

"I should've known you were behind this, you crazy old man."

Abigail sat down on a rock nearby watching Locke approach Sawyer.

"Where'd you find her Locke?"

Locke didn't answer.

"I asked you a question, and you better answer it."

"Or what Sawyer?"

"You really wanna test that?"  
"Listen, I'm here to help you through this. Jack asked me to--"

"If the wise old Doc doesn't leave me alone, one of us is gonna end up dead." He struggled against the ropes again, "How'd you find her?"

Locke looked around. "How'd I find who?"

Aggressively, "You know damn well who. Her." Sawyer looked up and she was gone. "Where'd she go?"

"There's no one here but us, Sawyer."

"If I wanted your help don't you think I'd ask for it?"

Blackout again.

Once he woke up he saw he was laying in the cave. _He got me back awfully fast. When I see that crazy old man I'm gonna kick his ass._

"Will he be okay, Jack?" Said Ana-Lucia.

"He keeps on blacking out. It might be because of excessive blood flow to his brain or.." he thought for a moment. "The stress?" He shook his head, "I don't know. I can't run any tests cause I don't have any of the equipment I need."

"Am I really worth all this trouble, Doc?"

"Just because we're not friends, doesn't mean I'm going to let you die."

"Aw we're not friends doc? And here I thought we were. Braiding each others hair and sharing secrets. Did that mean nothing to yah?"

Jack ignored Sawyer. Locke entered the cave, a girl in his arms. Locke interrupted, "I found this girl, laying on the rocks at that waterfall that you were talking about Kate. She looks pretty beat up."

Jack quickly ran to her side and looked over her wounds. Ana-Lucia went with Jack. "Abigail?" She shook her head. "Doesn't even look like her." Ana stroked her hair from her face. "What's wrong with her Jack?"

"Looks like she got attacked by something."

Sawyer spoke up, "Or someone."

Jack yelled to Sun, "I need some water and bring me that medical kit."

Sawyer watched as Jack was trying to help her. Kate stood beside him. She took several glances at Sawyer, to make sure that he was okay. He didn't say anything.

"Will she live?" Sawyer asked Kate as if she was in control of Abigail's life.

"Jack's doing the best he can."

Sawyer nodded and walked out of the cave. Jack watched him exit. _Cold hearted soul_


	9. Me and Myself

Chapter Nine:

Me and Myself

Sawyer sat beneath his new home on the beach. The sun coming up slowly. He could almost smell the sun rising. The heat was getting to him. He knew someone would try to con him into joining everyone else in the cave. He was use to being alone. He almost liked it that way. He didn't need anyone but himself to depend upon. He felt invincible. That all changed the minute he got shot. He always thought those people talking about their lives flashing before their eyes was complete nut jobs. _Those people ain't right in the head. _Sawyer was a simple man. He didn't believe in fate or destiny. He believed in luck. Was he lucky that he got shot? He probably would like to think it'd been worse if he didn't. _That poor boy out in the jungle possibly being tortured. What's wrong with that boy? _He shook his head, he didn't have many answers. But he did feel somewhat responsible. It was him who wanted to light the flare to begin with. The little boy just went along with him. If it wasn't for him, they may have already been home by now. _Such a disappointment. _

He picked up the sand that laid beneath his feet. He let the sand slide through his fingers. Coarse and rough, just like life. He sighed as he laid back against his tree. _This is all I need. Me and my tree._

Though of course that wouldn't last long.

Charlie made his way through the jungle that was behind Sawyer.

"Great, another local." He scoffed seeing Charlie's body emerge. "So what'd I do now?"

Charlie looked down at Sawyer, "Jack said you might want to know, the girls awake. She's asking for you."

"Oh she is, is she?" He tried to act like he didn't care. "And what is she askin about me for?"

"I don't know, I was just sent here to--" He got cut off by Sawyer.

"Listen, messenger boy. Tell them if I wanted to care I'd be waiting around like a hungry eyed puppy in the caves. But seeing as I don't and I'm not. Don't bother with telling me these things."

"Kate said you'd say that."

"Oh she did, did she? Well I'm glad Kate knows me so well."

Charlie started off towards the jungle. He stopped at the edge where the sand met the Jungle. "She's going to be okay. She's up walking around, now."

"Then, why didn't she come tell me that herself?"

"I thought you didn't care."

_He caught me. _"I don't."

"If you say so." Charlie headed back to the caves leaving Sawyer alone.

Alone. As many companions as he's had he never felt complete. Or at all satisfied. Yes, the company was great. But the pain was still there. Sawyer, the man who was partially responsible for the death of his parents did this. He'd often wondered what kind of man he would've been if things would have been different. What if Sawyer didn't con his mother into sleeping with him. What if his father never shot himself and his wife. What if?

Sawyer always pictured himself possibly a high priced lawyer or doctor. Maybe that's why he showed so much hatred for Jack. He leads the life he wants but can never have. He's a con man. A vicious liar. He didn't like the man he was now. He didn't like the man he was becoming either.

Sawyer frantically looked through his pockets for any trace of a cigarette. _I left them on the raft._ He shook his head. "No damn cigarette." He grumbled before someone tossed him a pack.

"Here." It was Abigail. _What is she doing here? _

"What can I do for you peaches? Here to tell me all about your miserable life on the island because you got attacked? Gee suddenly I don't care."

"Why are you so hateful towards everyone?"

"Why not?"

She sighed pushing back a piece of her hair with a swoop of her hand.

"I see you're doing just fine."

"Yeah, thanks again for not visiting."

"Anytime. So darlin' I can't help but wonder what is it you want? You want to have another go with me? Another kiss?"

"I never got that kiss, remember?"

"Ah, yes. Come to beat the hell out of me 'cause of it?" He snickered. As he lit up his cigarette.

"Not exactly."

"Then what?"

"I thought that I could help you. Me and you Sawyer, we're a lot alike."

"We're nothing alike. And darlin' you're the only one I see 'round here that's needing some help. Well besides some of the other freaks 'round here."

"Is that so?"

"I believe it is." He smirked. "Now, if you don't mind." He paused, "Well actually I don't care if you do or not, I'm gonna get some sleep. Now leave." He leaned back against his tree.

"No, not without you explaining yourself."

"How many times do I have to try to get it through your pretty little noggin'? I don't need anybody's help, especially you."

She took a seat beside him in the sand. "I'm not leaving."

He grabbed her from behind and quickly pulled out the knife tucked in his boot, he placed it to her throat. "Recognize it?"

She looked down as best as she could. "That'd be mine right?"

He whispered in her ear. "Yep, ding ding ding, we have a winner." His warm breath blew against her ear.

She closed her eyes for a moment as he pressed the knife deeper on her skin. "Why don't you just do it Sawyer? Save us both the trouble."

He took the knife away from her throat. "Leave." He said lowering his eyes to the sand. She overstayed her welcome.

She took off running. He figured back to the caves with the rest of the survivors. "Now for that nap."


	10. I'll Be Seeing You

Chapter Ten:

I'll Be Seeing You

It took Sawyer roughly two hours to figure out that he was an ass. It was time that he did something his father never did. Apologize. He was so determined to find the real Sawyer that he left himself on the plane. The man that was on his way to make Hibbs pay for what he'd done._ He tricked me into doing another deal for him. I killed another innocent man for my pain. This has to end. And it ends now. _He stood up and headed into the jungle.

It'd been a long time since he'd been in the caves. So much to his surprise a lot of things were different. A lot of eyes were on him when he entered. _A lot of changes. A lot of new faces. _

Ana-Lucia came up to his side. "What are you doing here?"

"Where's Abigail?"

"Why so you can hurt her a little bit more. I think you'll do us a huge favor if you just stay away Sawyer."

"I need to talk to her. Where is she?"

"She's a the waterfall, Sawyer." A voice spoke up behind him. Kate.

He turned around to see her. _So beautiful. _"Thank you. At least someone on this island has a decency to answer a man's questions." He headed out of the cave before turning to look at Kate. "Kate?"

"Yes Sawyer?"

"I'm sorry." He disappeared from view heading into the jungle.

Sawyer arrived at the waterfall. It looked empty except for a pile of clothes that was lying on the rocks near the edge of the waterfall.

Abigail emerged from the bottom of the waterfall. She moved into the waterfall letting her hair lather with water. She ran her fingers over her hair trying to get clean. She slowly turned around and noticed Sawyer staring at her. She called out from underneath the spring, "What do I owe this visit?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh?" She yelled back unsure if he could hear her from where she was. She swam to the edge of the lake before getting out. She was bare. "So what do you have to say to me?" She asked.

He didn't usually mind women being naked in front of him. "Do you mind?"

She grabbed the towel that laid with her clothes. She wrapped it snuggly around herself. "Didn't consider you being a shy type?"

He shook his head, "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for what I did to you yesterday."

"Sawyer, apologizing? This is one of those moments where you really want a tape recorder." She teased.

"But, the thing is. You were right. We are a lot alike." He took a step closer to her. "I want to change." He shook his head. "I don't want to be this man anymore." He looked down at his feet before his eyes shifted back at her. She placed her right hand on his cheek.

"You don't have to be him."

He nodded before placing his hand against her cheek. "I'm sorry. I've been getting out of control lately. Been threatening people to get them to leave me alone. Nothing worked so I tried that method." He bowed his head down, "I'm sorry. I was just always told not to be the weaker person. I've gotta learn my way or get trampled on. That meant hurting everyone in my way."

She smiled weakly and nodded. She figured he'd come around. "You never asked what happened to me in the jungle that day."

"Yeah, I know."

"Well after you teased me. I went looking for wood. All of a sudden I hear these noises coming from behind me, well all around me really. I turned around and Locke was there." She shook her head. "The last thing I remember is that he had this evil grin on his face. Just as I was about to ask who he was, I got hit in the back of the head." She shook her head. "All I could remember was lying there. I don't remember who was there. I didn't ever see their faces."

"We'll figure things out when we get back to camp. If he did have a part in this, we'll find out."

She smiled comfortably as she leaned up to kiss his lips. She brushed her lips against his. She pulled away. She turned around and headed towards the rocks to retrieve her clothes.

"Tease."

"Now, we're even." She winked.

Sawyer chased after her. Not long after, they were both in the water. They splashed at each other before he grabbed her and dunked her under the water. Sawyer was actually starting to enjoy himself. Not knowing that a bystander was watching them from a far. Locke.

Sawyer leaned in towards her to give her a kiss before he was interrupted.

"I see that you two are getting along great." Sawyer turned to look at Locke.

Abigail stayed behind Sawyer. Sawyer shielded Abigail from Locke's eyes. Sawyer always thought Locke was disturbed. _He is finally showing his true colors._

"Can I help you with somethin' old man?"

He nodded, "She needs to get out of the water."

"Excuse me?" Abigail said.

"Get out of the water."

"Listen, I don't know what your trying to pull here but--"

"Sawyer." She spoke up. "I think it's best if I do get out of the water."

Sawyer turned his head to the side, "What?" They weren't alone. Neither was Locke. They were surrounded by about ten men, all armed with rifles. "What's this all about? Who are these people?"

Locke smiled, "You should ask her."

Sawyer turned around to look at Abigail. "What?"

Locke made it clearer, "She's one of them. The people that took Walt. One of those that shot you."

Abigail shook her head, "No, don't believe him Sawyer."

Sawyer started to swim away from her. "Tell him that you're not, then."

She remained silent. "Sawyer, I."

"You lied to me?" He shook his head, "Locke was trying to save me, that's what it was. He saw that you were one of them and tried to kill you."

Locke nodded, "Yes. Me and Charlie."

She shook her head. "I didn't know you until after."

"What did you want from me? What do you still want?"

"I want to be with you Sawyer."

He shook his head. "No. You're a liar." He tried to figure it out. "But you and Ana-Lucia. They said that you were on the flight with them."

She sighed, "They never said that. They implied it because that's what I told them. I just showed up one day. I just told them that I was a survivor of the crash."

One of the people from the edge of the water motioned for Abigail to get out of the water. "Let's go.''

"No, Sawyer, let me explain."

With that Sawyer grabbed her arm and drug her out of the water. He shoved her over to the man. "Take her."

He grabbed her arm roughly. "Sawyer let me explain. I didn't know you!"

"Save it."

"Come on now, Abby."

"Let me go you ass." She yelled at the man. He didn't budge. She struggled against his grip. "Sawyer, please."

Locke watched as they took the young girl away from the scene. She kept looking back hoping Sawyer would show some sign of remorse or pain. His expression clearly said it all. He was angry. He'd been betrayed. Locke waited as Sawyer past him to follow along behind.

"I thought you might want to know before anything happened, like what happened with Ethan again."

Sawyer remained quiet.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not. I should've killed her when I had the chance. Next time she won't get off that easy. I'll be seeing her again, soon."

The End

I plan on doing a continuation to this story soon. So if you enjoyed this story please check back for an update. Thanks for reading my story. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it. Also, if you enjoy my work feel free to read any of my other fan fictions. Thanks for reading! Reviews are appreciated.


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